Oh For the Love of Humanity
by Rhea-samma
Summary: Accepting one's humanity is hard, especially when you fight it every step of the way like Loki. But still, could he be denying the chance for something wonderful? Or will Freya and her valkyries terminate him and his comrades before he has a chance to see


I don't own any rights pertaining to Ragnarok, though I wish I did XD   
This story .. is extremely dirty, beware the wickedness within... :evil grin:   
Lidia does not appear in this one. She's off...getting into trouble or treasure hunting. Probably both. :thinks...: And she took Reina with her! XD

Fixed some minor coding problems.

Night was settled over Midgard like a thick wool blanket, instilling calm and peace as the world slept on. The stars littered the sky over a small village near the outer borders of Volsug, making for a picturesque scene. The town only had one small inn, but it suited the needs of the four strange travelers who'd arrived earlier that day. The townsfolk were curious, but kept their distance from the strangers, continuing their otherwise ordinary, unchanging lives.

Now the town was asleep, bereft of life, save the nighttime creatures that roamed the empty, vacant streets searching for food. The people were all asleep, having peaceful dreams, or lack thereof. All save one.

Loki awoke suddenly, bolting upright, panting and gasping for air. He was momentarily tangled in the sheets, the fabric clinging to his sweat-drenched skin, and quickly subdued them in a short battle. Though the dark air was cold against his bare flesh, his body was on fire. His breaths became more measured, though still heavier than normal. He bit his lower lip, fighting a groan as he remembered his dream vividly. _Oh **gods,**_ he thought. He despairingly brushed his bangs away from his eyes as he bent over in shame. Loki clutched his head, trying vainly to banish the profane and wicked images etched into his mind. He breathed out a sharp explicative, "_Dammit!_" The dream had been so real. Though usually not a very religious person by nature, Loki thanked the gods that they all had their own rooms. If Chaos had been in his room, the knight probably would have woken up, asking infernal questions as he always seemed to be doing.

At the moment, Loki had other things on his mind, and wouldn't have been able to answer his red-haired companion even if he _had_ been in the room. Loki cursed again and moved to the window. Loki could barley see his own reflection on the glass as the dream played again in his mind. He'd hoped that it would dissipate and melt away like most dreams do, but on the contrary it became more solid, like a memory. He let out a shaky breath and shivered not because it was cold, but because it _burned._ His lips parted slightly as he half closed his eyes, recalling the sensations with a mixture of disgust, want, fear, and lust.

_--Perhaps the most intimate dream he'd ever had. The warlock, Fenrir, with him, naked, on his bed, together in the throes of passion... He recalled the way she so easily she responded to his touch, how tender and supple her body was...Her kisses, her intoxicating scent...The groan of the mattress beneath them and the creak of the rafters above...Her satisfying, gratified moans... The way they clung together in desperate need for release...--_  
Loki bit his lip, trying to expunge the thought, but that was by now impossible. It had been so _real._ The assassin wrapped his arms about himself, now filled with a gnawing hunger that begged to be fed. He cursed again, a third time. "Damn it!" He slumped in a dark corner, all but dissapearing into the shadows.

He desperately wanted to deny it. Loki didn't want to believe that he'd become infatuated with her. He suddenly realized his lip was bleeding he'd been biting it so hard. He didn't care. He was trying to ignore and deny all the signals his body was sending him, including his throbbing, burning loins. Cold water. That was what he needed.

He picked himself up, grabbing a rough towel off the corner of a bedpost and opened the door, stepping into the darkened hallway. At the end of the corridor was a bath chamber, two of them actually, and a flight of stairs, tucked off to the side, leading upwards, probably to the master rooms of the innkeeper. There were only seven rooms on this floor. There was a 'suite' downstairs, but the other rooms were all communal rooms such as the kitchen and dining area, and therefore not for rent. His feet made not a sound on the wooden floorboards. He stopped only briefly in front of Fenris' door, listening with one ear to hear her steady breathing. And then he was back in the dream again.

_--...He could feel her weight on top of him, straddling his waist, teasing him mercilessly. Ruthlessly, cunningly she drew moans from him, driving him completely insane...--_

He caught his breath, shaking himself out of the trance. Loki moved swiftly on to the baths and was soon submerged up to his neck in near-freezing water. He was determined to stay there as long as it took to forget that dream, but when his teeth started chattering he decided he should get out.

Getting out of the pool took effort. His limbs were all stiff and numb, and they ached at the sudden demand for movement. Loki gritted his jaw and set to work drying himself off. He felt better. At least physically. His head felt clearer and his loins stopped aching and had reduced from their previously swelled state. He cursed again silently as he toweled off. He wouldn't be able to look at her for days now, yet how could he _not_ look at her? He pulled on his trousers and stood a moment reflecting. The physical need was mostly gone, but instead of relief he just felt empty and unfulfilled. In the pit of his stomach he felt that gnawing hunger again, flickering like a tiny candle, as if to remind him that it was still there.

Not that he could forget. Still, he would do what he could to extinguish that bloody fire, if if was the last thing he did. No good could possibly come from it. For him, or for Fenris. Especially not for Fenris. On his way back to his room, he did his best not to stop in front of her room again, but he lingered. A half-step only but it was enough. His cheeks felt like they were glowing coals in a forge. He buried his face into the cold, damp towel and continued walking. Shafts of moonlight threw long distorted shadows in the hall. Perfect for an ambush. Loki snorted and shook his head. A preposterous notion. Even if their enemies were close by, he certainly would have sensed them.   
...or would he?

Perhaps he just felt a need to get rid of the excess energy he had, but Loki started a thorough investigation of the inn, starting with the hallway. The assassin crept silently down the stairs vaugely aware that he was basically unarmed. Somehow that thrilled him. The prospect of danger made him excited, and he almost wished that someone or something was lurking in wait. It was strange. Somehow he'd become reckless. Perhaps it was that blasted knight's influence again, Loki wasn't sure. Perhaps it was just his confidence getting out of check. He let his mind wander, his body moving on autopilot. Finished with the lower floor, he prowled back up the stairs without conscious thought.

He reflected silently on how much he'd changed over the last five months. It was really quite remarkable. Where before he'd felt no such sensations like pain or cold, the assassin was finding himself slowly becoming aware of these things. He wasn't sure of the reason for such a change was either, but he blamed Chaos for most of it.

Before he'd met the knight Loki'd been arrogant and invincible. Then the knight had managed to strike him, twice. It was a feat previously unmanaged by anyone before, but soon after, Loki found himself getting more than one strike from his enemies on a regular basis. Something had happened that day, the assassin decided. His armor of invincibility had a chink in it, a flaw, and now it had crumbled alltogether. Something which Loki was ill-equipped to deal with. He'd always strived to be perfect. Mistakes didn't suit him well at all, and neither did failure. Of course, change didn't agree with him either, and he'd been seeing a disconcerting amount of it latley.

Loki hadn't known what to do with all these sudden, unnerving tendencies towards pain and other feelings. He muddled along, alone, vainly trying to subdue them into non-existance, while trying to keep up his facade of unruffled stoicism. He suddenly took in his surroundings and bit back a curse.

_He was in her room._ The assassin felt a deep urge to strike his skull against he wall, but then that would certianly disturb Fenris and raise questions as to his intents and purposes to being here. Not that he was sure why really. He hated to admit it, but she'd gotten under his skin in a way no one else had before. It almost frightened him. She lay peacefully under the covers, blissfully unaware of the other presence in her room. Loki swiftly bit a knuckle as an image came unbidden to his mind.

_-- His hands were on her breasts, his head down near the juncture of her thighs. She arched and writhed in response to his teasings, especially when he took her to mouth, sampling the delicate, soft tissues of her womanhood..--_  
Loki was mortified at such thoughts. He needed to get away from this woman. Away from her tempting, gorgeous being. Away from that wretched knight who confused him and brought about change wherever he went...Away from these people and their quest.

Fenris stirred, banishing those thoughts and bringing up others.

_--She gasped and panted, as did he. Her lips were swollen from all the hard desperate kisses thay'd shared. She begged for mercy, for his entry, but he witheld awhile longer yet, despite the fact his body was brimming with need...--_  
Loki closed his eyes and curled into a ball again, trying to divert his thoughts elsewhere. _Please.._ he begged silently, _please just make it stop...I never asked for this..._

_--He slid a finger inside her, smirking at the sharp intake of breath. He slid in another and moved them back and forth until she crested, half screaming-half moaning. "Oh gods...!" She whispered. "Gods, don't, don't tease me anymore Loki I, oh..." She shuddered against him, and his control vanished. He tried to go as slow as he could at first, easing himself into her...--_  
"No," Loki whispered. "No, no, _no_." He knew nothing of sex. He was, and had been for as long as he could remember, completley chaste. Where, in Surt's name, had these sordid thoughts come from? Another image came to him, a memory this time. Prontera. The castle. He'd been peeved at Chaos. He shoved him harder than was nessisary, into the doors of the bath, where Fenris and Iris stood stark naked. He'd only caught a glimpse, and doubtless Chaos had gotten a better eyefull, but still he could recall the sight of Fenrir's naked flesh, her hair fantastically long--longer than he'd imagined. He kneaded his forehead. His loins ached again. It really wasn't fair. It was not at all fair that she could inspire such an all-consuming flame within him just by breathing. Unlike the other sensations that apparently came with humanity, the feelings for Fenris overwhelmed him, coming at him all at once. Ever since his head had been cleared from his vengful anger, the assassin had been keenly aware of her, always. It was his own obstinancy that'd kept him from aknowledging it before now. His icy, independant nature coupled with confusion and heated emotions was a reciepe for madness.

"What have you done to me?" He wondered aloud. All these feelings, these thoughts--Loki didn't want them. Even if he hadn't lived through any sort of carnal desire he'd learned through tales of others all the troubles that would follow.

And he didn't want to burden Fenris with more pain.

Clenching a fist, Loki slipped out of her room and went back to his, bolting the door behind him. He walked a few paces, then let himself drop forward onto the bed. He felt exhaused, utterly drained, but it was long before he got any more sleep.

The first thing Loki was aware of the next morning was the pounding on his door and the muffled voice of the rune knight on the other side of it. "Loki c'mon! Up and at 'em! Breakfast is in five minutes!" Loki made a noise of understanding and stood up, rolling his shoulders to ease the stiffness out of his back. He stepped over to the bowl that served as a wash basin and rinsed his face and neck. He raked his fingers through his hair, getting out the most serious tangles, then threw his clothes on. Picking up his swords, he latched them onto his belt, and unlocked the door, stepping out into the hallway that had seemed so sinister the night before. Brightly lit now from the daylight, it seemed far less threatening.

The assassin headed down the steps, and joined his comrads in the dining area. He served himself a bowl of some bland-looking gruel and sat down across from Iris, who was sitting next to Fenris. The two of them expressed their customary 'good mornings,' to which Loki grunted in reply. Loki bent his head and carefully avoided looking at Fenris, applying himself to the meal with more vigor than he actually felt. He actually didn't want to eat, food almost seemed off-putting in fact. As he spooned the tasteless matter into his mouth, when Fenris spoke up, "How did you sleep last night Loki?" He almost choked. It was an innocent enough question, but it sparked the memories of his anything but innocent dream. Loki chewed on a lump of gruel carefully, in order to gain more time. Swallowing he managed to answer casually,

"All right I suppose... though I will welcome going back to camping. Sleeping on the ground is much more familiar." He glanced up at her warily, tensly wondering if she'd noticed anything odd. Iris interrupted,

"On the ground? Are you crazy Loki? Geez, you assasins must all be pretty bonkers if you like sleeping on the ground! You'll get premature athritis in your back I tell you!" Loki stared blankly at the girl, then went back to staring at a point on the table just in front of his bowl while Fenris smothered a giggle. Iris turned on her with seriousness, "You laugh all you want warlock, I've seen it happen." Fenris cleared her throat still fighting her mirth. She nodded sagley agreeing with the cleric,

"Oh yes of course Iris. Most serious matter indeed." Her lips twitched and barley held back another chuckle. Iris crossed her arms looking highly affronted. She picked up her breakfast and assumed an air of injured dignity.

"Fine then! See if I care! You watch! I'll still be spry and agile when I'm an old lady, and you'll both need a cane before the age of thirty! I'm going to go find Chaos!" The remaining two at the table watched her storm off. Loki finally uttered,

"Is she truly upset?" Fenris half-chuckled,

"Who knows with that child. Probably not. Or even if she is, she'll get over it before we even have a chance to forget it." Shaking her head, Fenris started peeling the thick skin off a fruit. Ah she enjoyed the tang of an orange in the morning. She reached into the part she exposed and split off a half-slice. She slipped it into her mouth and smiled girlishly. She started peeling off more of the fruit's skin and cast a glance over to her quiet tablemate. Loki seemed oddly reserved to Fenris. She mused over this as she inserted another slice of fruit into her mouth. He seemed quiet, even for Loki. She stared at the fruit as she tried to unravel the mystery. It was as if he was...tense. Yes, tense, Fenris decided, and continued her way through the orange. He was treating her as if she was something dangerous, like a viper with poisonous fangs. Fenris caught his eye--there! That look again, just like a few moments before. It was almost adorable actually, Fenris reflected, chewing thoughtfully. She fought a smile as she set to work deciphering his expression. It reminded her of the phrase "getting caught with one's hand in the cookie jar." She hastily put another orange slice into her moth before she burst out laughing at the mental image of Loki raiding someone's cookie bowl. There was something else in it too however. Fenris frowned a bit as she tried to place it. He seemed almost frightened.. or in awe...and hadn't there been just a touch of desperation? Fenris 'hmmmd' lightly to herself. Most provoking. She'd have to think on it some more later.

In any case he was obviously hiding _something_ though she couldn't guess what. The warlock finished off the last slice to her orange happily and wiped her mouth on the corner of her lap-cloth.

Loki on the other hand, was struggling to keep his eyes to his gruel. He couldn't help himself. He'd been watching her eat the orange the whole time, gods only knew why but he'd found it...facinating. She'd obviously been deep in thought, though he hadn't the faintest idea what about. She'd seemed to enjoy the orange as well. Loki had never had one before, and was tempted to try one...Though the assassin was busy focusing his willpower on resisting the greater urge to reach across and see if she still retained some of the taste on her lips and in her mouth. Clenching and unclenching a hand, he poured himself a glass of water from a pitcher on the table. Loki tried his best to focus on nothing but the liquid trickling down his throat, but Fenris made that impossible. She leaned forward and asked,

"Is something bothering you Loki?" The assassin's eyes snapped open and he fought the choking sensation in his throat. He set down the glass, coughing a bit, then asked in a voice touched by a wheeze,

"What," He cleared his throat, "What gives you the impression something is amiss Fenris?" She shrugged carelessly,

Nothing really, you just seemed a bit..on edge this morning. Did you really not sleep well?" His hands paled, and Loki tightened his grip on the glass, carefully phrasing his statement.

"I...I had troubled dreams." That was as close to the truth as he dared go. Fenris titled her head at him,

"You mean a nightmare?" That one stumped Loki. _Was it really a nightmare? It wasn't all that unpleasant.. rather..enjoyable actually--what! NO! No, no, no, and **no.**_ Loki mentally berated himself for his wanton thoughts. Fenris prompted him for an answer, "Loki?"

"Hmm?"

"I asked you if it was a nightmare." There was only a brief pause as Loki swirled the clear liquid around in his glass,

"You could call it that I suppose, yes." Fenris offered a sympathetic ear,

"Would you like to talk abou--" Loki's eyes flashed in a fleeting panic,

"_**No.**_" Fenris blinked, taken aback at the tone of his answer.

"All right, all right I'm sorry. I only wanted to help," Loki made an odd sound in his throat, like a strangled laugh. Fenris continued, "It's probably none of my business anyways..I shouldn't have intruded." He made another noise, possibly one of assent or acceptance...or apology. Fenris threw her hands up and shook her head. "I don't care anymore! Let us go find Chaos and Iris... I'm sure he have long to go today." With that Fenris stood up and left the room. By the time Loki untied his tongue, she was long gone,

"..sorry." Loki really didn't want to stand up just at that moment, afraid his tight pants would reveal his, ah...well, the state of his loins. He pulled down the ends of his jacket, furtively trying to disguise the effect Fenris had wrought on him. He stood carefully, readjusted his shirt-front, and carefully walked out to where he saw the others gathering outside the inn.

Loki fell silently into line with the group, bringing up the rear as per usual. He tried to meditate, focusing on his breathing.

_In out...  
in out...   
in...   
in...Fenris...   
out..the breath...   
just the breath...   
one...   
her hair   
...two..?   
the_ breath_...oh in   
hold...out...   
in..   
oranges...   
...   
damn...   
...ah the breath of course, of course...   
what comes after one?   
that dream...   
wait..the breath..   
..two...no..'out'...   
...   
this isn't working._

Loki sighed, and gave up even trying to restrict his thoughts any longer. As they started their trek across a meadow Loki let his gaze wander over the dorsal side of Fenris. He ran his tongue over his lips as he idly wondered how her clothes worked, wondering what the best possible tactics of undressing her might be. In his head he ran his fingers over her bolero, sliding it off her shoulders, undoing whatever clasps or ties may have been hidden on the front, then casting it aside. Next came that split over skirt, sliding it neatly off her hips along with Laevatain. He'd undo her shirt next, caressing her flesh as it was bared...His thoughts continued in this vein for some time until he'd completely stripped her in his mind, after which he only repeated the process, musing over the possible variations that one could employ...

Snapping his head up, Loki suddenly came out of his hormone-induced stupor. He gritted his teeth, wishing fiercely that he could do something that would elicit a severe pummeling from Chaos, without arousing suspicion.

When they stopped for a midday meal, Loki avoided the gazes of the others, feeling wholly unclean and ashamed.

Perhaps Loki's distracted mood was infectious, or perhaps the heros simply felt at ease, but whatever the case had they been more attentive, they would have noticed the hazy cloud of pollen hovering around their ankles. Iris yawned then giggled, "Hehehe.. I'm all sleepy now..." Chaos ruffled her hair affectionately, looking rather tired himself,

"Plenty of time to sleep later..." The knight stopped in mid-sentence to yawn, grinning wildly as he did so. Fenris tried to keep her eyelids from drooping,

"I think... hahahahaha.." She trailed off into quiet laughter, abandoning her verdict. Loki didn't know what to say. His bowl slipped from his hand and hit the ground with a dull 'thud.' He was feeling odd. Light-headed and sleepy...giddy and..and _hungry._ His eyes went out of focus, but he knew that the blob garbed in purple was Fenris..she was still tittering, slower now though...Iris had slid off the log she was sitting onto the ground, mumbling inappropriate and nonsensical things about Chaos, herself, and vegetables. He tried to stand, which was a mistake. Trying vainly to reach for Fenris, he found his body would not obey him. It was like trying to move through tar, hindered by the very air around them which was starting to press in. Swaying slightly for a moment, then crumbling, Loki realized faintly in the back of his mind that something was wrong. Blackness creeped around the edges of his vision, and he closed his eyes.

Something...was...terribly...wrong...

And as the four heros succumbed to the local flora, a figure in the shadows was watching.

And she _grinned._

_------------ _

Dun dun dunnnnn! X33


End file.
